There lived an old man named Abbas in Baghdad. He was middle aged and ran a grocery shop in the neighborhood. Abbas had been loosing his hearing for some time but was too proud to admit it. When with his family and friends, he continued to pretend as if there was nothing wrong with him. One day, a friend came to visit him. The friend told him that his neighbor next door, Mureed, was seriously ill. Mureed, was a retired school teacher, who was living by himself with no family to take care of him. Abbas knew it was his duty to call on Mureed and enquire about his health. He promised his friend that he will visit Mureed the same day
Having made the promise, Abbas was now caught in a dilemma. How will he communicate with Mureed with his impaired hearing? Also, with Mureed now sick and frail and probable with a low voice, their was no way that Abbas would be able to hear him. He wanted to avoid going, but realized that custom decreed he paid a visit to the ailing old man. Abbas decided that he will understand what Mureed was saying by reading his lips and respond accordingly. He also thought of some questions that he will ask the old man and his potential replies.
When Abbas would ask, " How are you feeling?", Hameed would probably reply, "Thanks to Allah, I am surviving." Than Abbas would say, " That's wonderful!", and continue, " What did you have to eat today?". Hameed would probably reply, " I had a vegetable soup with some bread" to which Abbas would respond "Subanallah; very nice." Abbas thought he will than ask, " Which doctor are you consulting?" and Hameed would probable tell him the name of the local doctor, to which Abbas would say, "Superb, he is the best in town!"
Feeling very confident about his plan, Abbas immediately went next door to visit his old neighbour. He sat next to the sick man's bed and politely asked him, " How are you feeling, my dear friend?"
" I am in a lot of pain and probably dying!", said the old man in a low voice.
Unable to hear what Hammed said, Abbas decided to go on with his planned conversation. " That's wonderful! Abbas said with a smile and continued with his next question. " What did you eat last night?"
"Poison!' retorted the sick man , already upset with the first answer of Abbas.
"Subanallah; very nice" Abbas responded cluelessly.
This made Hameed even more upset and he wanted to shout and curse this ill-mannered neighbour. However, with great difficulty he calmed himself down since he knew one should not shout at a guest. Abbas though was in his own world and continued with his planned conversation: " Which doctor are you consulting?"
"Azrael, the angel of death!" snapped the sick man.
""Superb, he is the best in town! His presence is always good news. Whoever he treats is rid of all pain and illnesses forever!"
Abbas had no idea how much damage he had caused to the sick man's mental state. He smilingly shook Hameed's hand and left, feeling satisfied that he had done his neighbourly duty and brought the sick man relief.
Learnings
1. Hiding our weaknesses can often cause big blunders. Abbas is reluctant to accept that he has a hearing challenge. That unwillingness to accept his weakness is not only lowering the quality of his own life but also impacting his relationships and communications with those around him.
2. Many times in life, he make a plan. In our mind, we prepare for each and every aspect of the plan for a long time. The plan may or may not work out. But, in our head, we have lived and relived the plan so much that for us it becomes a reality. Abbas is so smug about his planned conversation and its success, he fails to read/ understand the pain that he is causing Hameed.
3. When we go about executing our plans, we make certain assumptions about the response of other people around us. These assumptions are based on our earlier experiences/ beliefs. These beliefs say a lot more about us that about the other people. Hence, it our job to be objective about those around us and not superimpose our own beliefs on them
4. Sometimes, We have challenges with our relationships, be it personal or professional. At those times, it is important to think whether what we thinks about others has more to do with our own upbringing/experiences/beliefs than about those people.
END
STORYCREDIT: This story has its source in the six volumes of Masnavi by Jalalu'dinRumi, translated by MaryamMafi
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